








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2220 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1900 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2086 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 622 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,298 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G_G | 48% | 130 |
| #2 | banger | 48% | 173 |
| #3 | vuokkonen | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Mr.Puffington | 47% | 79 |
| #5 | Omena | 46% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | vuokkonen | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Mr.Puffington | 47% | 79 |
| #5 | Omena | 46% | 118 |
| #6 | kynikki | 45% | 161 |
| #7 | Jurppi | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kynikki | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | banger | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Omena | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | vuokkonen | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Mr.Puffington | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | banger | 718 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #2 | Omena | 459 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | G_G | 225 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | kynikki | 202 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mr.Puffington | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | banger | +1.52 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | Omena | +0.35 | 75 | 81 |
| #3 | Jurppi | +0.09 | 60 | 79 |
| #4 | G_G | -0.17 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | Mr.Puffington | -0.67 | 53 | 62 |





