








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4533 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4834 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3287 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3060 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $657,920 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | shift11 | 54% | 35 |
| #14 | devn | 54% | 119 |
| #15 | fl0w | 53% | 122 |
| #16 | cramX🦥 | 50% | 18 |
| #17 | waznogud' | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devn | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | fl0w | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | pad- | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | fabi0_ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | mirco | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tottii | 540 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | pad- | 396 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | fl0w | 357 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | wipseN:D | 356 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | devn | 322 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fl0w | +3.41 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | wipseN:D | +2.77 | 76 | 80 |
| #3 | sTand uP | +2.72 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | xd0nkey | +2.10 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | pad- | +1.33 | 89 | 67 |





