








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2264 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3292 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2427 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2586 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,234 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3rpboy | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | dubois.charles | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 60% | 103 |
| #4 | Giju | 59% | 49 |
| #5 | ZeroAirplane765 | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Giju | 59% | 49 |
| #5 | ZeroAirplane765 | 59% | 22 |
| #6 | CamMeat | 58% | 76 |
| #7 | s1mpatico | 54% | 183 |
| #8 | Machado Garry | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Giju | 13 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | CamMeat | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | s1mpatico | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | T3rpboy | 7 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mpatico | 455 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Giju | 280 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 276 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | CamMeat | 166 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | dubois.charles | 122 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giju | +4.95 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | k1mchi | +2.57 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | dubois.charles | +0.90 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | +0.55 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | T3rpboy | -0.35 | 44 | 64 |





