








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 447 | 13% |
| Smokes | 930 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,511 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soNnY | 54% | 89 |
| #2 | Beer Man | 48% | 129 |
| #3 | L!o | 48% | 162 |
| #4 | Bremser -iwnl- | 45% | 51 |
| #5 | FREDI | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FREDI | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | L!o | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Beer Man | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | soNnY | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Bremser -iwnl- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L!o | 410 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Beer Man | 409 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | soNnY | 292 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Bremser -iwnl- | 286 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | FREDI | 168 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soNnY | +3.97 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | L!o | -0.01 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | Bremser -iwnl- | -0.65 | 46 | 70 |
| #4 | Beer Man | -0.78 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | [CHRSKNT] | -1.29 | 59 | 54 |





