








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1775 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1783 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1712 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1507 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,565 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bremser -iwnl- | 49% | 95 |
| #2 | soNnY | 49% | 148 |
| #3 | Beer Man | 46% | 170 |
| #4 | L!o | 46% | 161 |
| #5 | [CHRSKNT] | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beer Man | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | soNnY | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Bremser -iwnl- | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | L!o | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | [CHRSKNT] | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beer Man | 531 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Bremser -iwnl- | 525 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | L!o | 458 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | soNnY | 417 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #5 | [CHRSKNT] | 41 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soNnY | +4.68 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | Beer Man | -1.04 | 57 | 67 |
| #3 | L!o | -1.04 | 60 | 66 |
| #4 | [CHRSKNT] | -1.33 | 57 | 54 |
| #5 | Bremser -iwnl- | -1.33 | 57 | 70 |





