








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2483 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2604 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2380 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2239 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,007 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soNnY | 49% | 184 |
| #2 | [CHRSKNT] | 48% | 129 |
| #3 | L!o | 47% | 220 |
| #4 | noki | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | FREDI | 46% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soNnY | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | FREDI | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Bremser -iwnl- | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | L!o | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | [CHRSKNT] | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bremser -iwnl- | 689 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | L!o | 612 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | soNnY | 546 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #4 | FREDI | 336 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | [CHRSKNT] | 68 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soNnY | +4.60 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | noki | -0.20 | 52 | 65 |
| #3 | Beer Man | -0.83 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | L!o | -0.85 | 56 | 65 |
| #5 | [CHRSKNT] | -1.14 | 57 | 53 |





