










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,715 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 508 | 28% |
| Smokes | 445 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 482 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 391 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,803 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jens | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | baby | 81% | 21 |
| #3 | Andija | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | OLSEn | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | baby | 81% | 21 |
| #3 | Andija | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | OLSEn | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | aRCOn | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Andija | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | OLSEn | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jens | 11 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | aRCOn | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby | +5.77 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Andija | +0.21 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | Jens | -0.13 | 52 | 69 |
| #4 | OLSEn | -0.65 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | URBAN | -1.87 | 52 | 72 |





