








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2690 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3026 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2446 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1071 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,972 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @LANTIS | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | :] | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ♿teddy de detector♿ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ;) | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | thatboyain'tRight | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | 722 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | @LANTIS | 304 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | ;) | 302 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | ♿teddy de detector♿ | 262 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | iæn | 193 | 0.19 | 6 min |





