








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4819 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3601 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6008 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4414 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,850,476 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | froggie | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | iæn | 58% | 127 |
| #3 | heffe, son of abt | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | soaK | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | ;) | 57% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ♿teddy de detector♿ | 53% | 164 |
| #10 | Myaku' | 52% | 131 |
| #11 | fred | 51% | 63 |
| #12 | KXYS | 51% | 71 |
| #13 | thatboyain'tRight | 50% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ;) | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ♿teddy de detector♿ | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | thatboyain'tRight | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Myaku' | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | 1730 | 0.19 | 57 min |
| #2 | ;) | 618 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | thatboyain'tRight | 557 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | iæn | 522 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #5 | Myaku' | 486 | 0.19 | 14 min |





