








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14620 | 37% |
| Smokes | 11669 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10048 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2699 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,322,750 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heffe, son of abt | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | @LANTIS | 54% | 463 |
| #3 | fred | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | KXYS | 52% | 113 |
| #5 | iæn | 52% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♿teddy de detector♿ | 50% | 230 |
| #8 | Myaku' | 48% | 195 |
| #9 | ;) | 46% | 213 |
| #10 | thatboyain'tRight | 44% | 266 |
| #11 | soaK | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @LANTIS | 15 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ;) | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ♿teddy de detector♿ | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Hilly | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Myaku' | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @LANTIS | 1045 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #2 | iæn | 994 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #3 | ;) | 876 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #4 | thatboyain'tRight | 778 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #5 | Myaku' | 695 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | +3.32 | 56 | 86 |
| #2 | KXYS | +3.29 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | fred | +1.50 | 65 | 75 |
| #4 | @LANTIS | +0.82 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | iæn | +0.47 | 54 | 73 |





