








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4261 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2772 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3570 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1419 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,979 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fred | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | @LANTIS | 58% | 127 |
| #3 | KXYS | 57% | 94 |
| #4 | :] | 52% | 255 |
| #5 | Hilly | 51% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | @LANTIS | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Hilly | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | KXYS | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Myaku' | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :] | 911 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #2 | Hilly | 320 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | @LANTIS | 256 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | KXYS | 245 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Myaku' | 171 | 0.17 | 5 min |





