








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 368 | 26% |
| Smokes | 289 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 267 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $62,473 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani?! | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Sjm | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | DeadCell | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Rich | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Wing | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | NaZeR | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Dre^ | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | JUNGE | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | WKN | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | Jshwa | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuB~ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | 12345 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Sjm | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | NaZeR | 1 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuB~ | 135 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | 12345 | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wing | 61 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sjm | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | DeadCell | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani?! | +2.62 | 92 | 71 |
| #2 | DeadCell | +2.04 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | Wing | +1.76 | 81 | 74 |
| #4 | NaZeR | +0.65 | 77 | 51 |
| #5 | Lib` | +0.42 | 69 | 64 |





