








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2361 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2065 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3059 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2492 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,270 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DizzyDee | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | DeadCell | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | SuB~ | 59% | 102 |
| #4 | kyle | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Jshwa | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kyle | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Jshwa | 58% | 19 |
| #6 | Bzar | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | 12345 | 53% | 68 |
| #8 | Wing | 51% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuB~ | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | 12345 | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Bzar | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Wing | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | DeadCell | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuB~ | 445 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Wing | 407 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | 12345 | 163 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | DeadCell | 93 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | kyle | 81 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeadCell | +1.62 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Wing | +1.60 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | kyle | +0.85 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | Sjm | +0.43 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | SuB~ | +0.39 | 70 | 69 |





