








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4138 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3223 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3046 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3068 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,764 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DizzyDee | 60% | 94 |
| #2 | shad | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Jshwa | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Rich | 56% | 93 |
| #5 | DeadCell | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sjm | 51% | 131 |
| #7 | kyle | 51% | 59 |
| #8 | SuB~ | 49% | 76 |
| #9 | 12345 | 44% | 50 |
| #10 | Honourable Man | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjm | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | SuB~ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | 12345 | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Rich | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | DeadCell | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjm | 313 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | SuB~ | 311 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | DizzyDee | 247 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | kyle | 206 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rich | 198 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wing | +1.82 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | shad | +1.21 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | DeadCell | +1.15 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | DizzyDee | +0.73 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | kyle | +0.66 | 80 | 70 |





