








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 458 | 19% |
| Smokes | 515 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 764 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 715 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,456 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | The Robot Gamer | 20% | 5 |
| #16 | TrueChaos | 17% | 6 |
| #17 | quilty | 13% | 8 |
| #18 | surc | 0% | 7 |
| #19 | Caf | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MF_James | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Glass | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | consumerist scum | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | t7 | RATS | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MF_James | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | consumerist scum | 94 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | wheelkill4food | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Glass | 60 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vaah | 52 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s3ryn | +5.86 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | Vaah | +2.57 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | MF_James | +1.44 | 53 | 79 |
| #4 | t7 | RATS | +0.86 | 60 | 44 |
| #5 | consumerist scum | +0.64 | 59 | 57 |





