








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 650 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1110 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 905 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 835 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,268 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x/o RELiANTiNN | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Ellz | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Haukur á rúgbrauðinu | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | bRaKe | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | SVANSkY | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Jónascajones | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | fizzy | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | Anadról | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | Hj0zzi⭕⃤ | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | Lunatic | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtd | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Jónascajones | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | bRaKe | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Anadról | 1 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Ellz | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtd | 130 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Haukur á rúgbrauðinu | 99 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | bRaKe | 64 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | gunnni | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jónascajones | 62 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SVANSkY | +3.63 | 73 | 76 |
| #2 | mtd | +2.06 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | Jónascajones | +1.58 | 62 | 77 |
| #4 | Haukur á rúgbrauðinu | +1.34 | 79 | 80 |
| #5 | fizzy | +1.32 | 72 | 73 |





