








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1961 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1628 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1897 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,020 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hulken :@ | 57% | 28 |
| #6 | SVANSkY | 54% | 59 |
| #7 | mtd | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | d0ntOni | 50% | 20 |
| #9 | Haukur á rúgbrauðinu | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SVANSkY | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Krishna | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | d0ntOni | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | $lími | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | bRaKe | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $lími | 201 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | SVANSkY | 146 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Krishna | 137 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Haukur á rúgbrauðinu | 132 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hulken :@ | 117 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SVANSkY | +3.37 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | $lími | +0.66 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | gunnni | +0.57 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | Haukur á rúgbrauðinu | +0.49 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | Hulken :@ | -0.20 | 81 | 75 |





