








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 842 | 26% |
| Smokes | 593 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1122 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 729 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,146 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McH|Infy | 110 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | McH|e[X]ile-Hammack | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nads Jr. | 59 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Occasionally Fatal | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Helmut +} | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timmy | +10.89 | 92 | 76 |
| #2 | McH|Helmut +} | +6.23 | 89 | 62 |
| #3 | Helmut +} | +4.84 | 94 | 68 |
| #4 | Occasional Fatal² | +4.11 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Nads Jr. | +3.78 | 74 | 74 |





