








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1078 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11069 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5736 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8483 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3737 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,888,926 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1543 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SUPREME]arkijE | 29 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | TaY^ | 27 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | ❤️Princess Dødsengel❤ | 25 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Tony | 23 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Super Beef | 14 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TaY^ | 843 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | ❤️Princess Dødsengel❤ | 805 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | [SUPREME]arkijE | 779 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #4 | -guts | 707 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #5 | Tony | 585 | 0.13 | 15 min |





