








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 649 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3904 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4090 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3503 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1974 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,484,177 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | any | 388 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | d4j1N | 256 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | .slow | 255 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | P-Kone | 172 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | weedy | 170 | 0.07 | 4 min |





