








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 668 | 25% |
| Smokes | 472 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 891 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 607 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,848 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cr1ses is Back | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | STRAFERKO | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | ﻹ-*BcMgRiNg*1337*.Cz-ﻹ | 29% | 17 |
| #10 | Spartan | 25% | 16 |
| #11 | ☮ˇWeeeeMaker♋ | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIKKYN | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | NewPlayer | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NewPlayer | 108 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | ﻹ-*BcMgRiNg*1337*.Cz-ﻹ | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | RIKKYN | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Spartan | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☮ˇWeeeeMaker♋ | 33 | 0.19 | 1 min |





