








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 608 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10747 | 22% |
| Smokes | 13206 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 13140 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 11030 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,016,847 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TiTo | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | K1ng | 52% | 103 |
| #3 | ♛GhOsT♛ | 52% | 84 |
| #4 | Owen04 | 52% | 351 |
| #5 | 1 - 3 - K - T | 49% | 74 |





