








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3322 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2479 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2854 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1533 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $851,470 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dahntay | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | c0ty_- | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | wac | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fear&Loathing | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | 6IX | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | a bad driver | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fear&Loathing | 267 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | c0ty_- | 163 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | ShittyCook | 121 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tipl3ss | 112 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAB | +2.64 | 95 | 38 |
| #2 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | +2.61 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | +2.38 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | c0ty_- | +2.18 | 61 | 82 |
| #5 | wac | +1.87 | 85 | 56 |





