








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4872 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4909 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4507 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4047 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,636 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | 58% | 90 |
| #2 | rich0 | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | wac | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Deku | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | -_yPPiZ | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | buzz | 45% | 55 |
| #9 | 6IX | 45% | 157 |
| #10 | Fear&Loathing | 42% | 138 |
| #11 | Dahntay | 41% | 58 |
| #12 | a bad driver | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6IX | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | -_yPPiZ | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Fear&Loathing | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | a bad driver | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fear&Loathing | 350 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | 253 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | wac | 170 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | 144 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | rich0 | 127 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | +3.01 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Got-Mad-Gummy-Money | +2.69 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | wac | +2.07 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | MAB | +1.99 | 89 | 50 |
| #5 | c0ty_- | +1.25 | 65 | 78 |





