








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6058 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5982 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8189 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7908 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,616 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 61% | 44 | ||
| #2 | ☣♛ ΜДŠŤΞЯ Ist ja irre ♛☣ | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | DeathIsComing | 57% | 61 |
| 53% | 49 | ||
| #5 | Rainer Stoff | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | R97 | 45% | 97 |
| #10 | The Sentinal | 43% | 49 |
| #11 | [GER] 𝓼𝓠𝓮𝓮𝔃𝔂 | 39% | 57 |
| #12 | Andykoeln | 36% | 61 |
| #13 | M4rz0n | 31% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [GER] Popertze | 25 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Monkey D. Luffy | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | DeathIsComing | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | M4rz0n | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Andykoeln | 6 | 0.0045 |





