








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2486 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5622 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5011 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3188 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,902 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | precog` | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | killsoft | 58% | 95 |
| #3 | JAKKESTARRR | 51% | 303 |
| #4 | mattywatty | 49% | 249 |
| #5 | UNCLE NOOOO | 48% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAKKESTARRR | +2.40 | 84 | 55 |
| #2 | killsoft | +2.22 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | JY | +1.35 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | mattywatty | -0.14 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | precog` | -0.39 | 52 | 72 |





