








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1778 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1299 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2050 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1542 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,073 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Just Coala | 43% | 28 |
| #14 | Rau Silverman | 43% | 42 |
| #15 | Kaljaliiga22 | 42% | 12 |
| #16 | Prianna | 35% | 20 |
| #17 | Psprtu | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herkkupamppu | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Rau Silverman | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Don Kauhala | 4 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | Psprtu | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Prianna | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herkkupamppu | 163 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rau Silverman | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | 🆂🅷🅸🆃RaxteR | 64 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | BL4 | 52 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Psprtu | 42 | 0.08 | 2 min |





