








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4645 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4561 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4332 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4077 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,442,292 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew Anjaroo | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | ᵃᵗᵏ | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | Weary | 46% | 69 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 46% | 173 |
| #5 | rsk-_x | 43% | 356 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rsk-_x | 43% | 356 |
| #6 | Cosmic-HH- | 41% | 259 |
| #7 | Quique | 40% | 68 |
| #8 | Salty | 32% | 75 |
| #9 | Lusthadiar | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cosmic-HH- | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | rsk-_x | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Weary | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Quique | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ᵃᵗᵏ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancakes | 666 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | rsk-_x | 597 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | Cosmic-HH- | 246 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | ᵃᵗᵏ | 199 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Quique | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rsk-_x | +2.41 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Andrew Anjaroo | +2.25 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +2.15 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | Quique | +1.81 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | Cosmic-HH- | +0.40 | 81 | 64 |





