








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 536 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8089 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5263 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5540 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6278 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3968 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,767,608 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quique` | 50% | 244 |
| #2 | andrew ANJAROOO | 50% | 144 |
| #3 | Cosmic | 47% | 570 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 46% | 206 |
| #5 | atk | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pancakes | 46% | 206 |
| #5 | atk | 45% | 91 |
| #6 | ^m1L | 43% | 356 |
| #7 | GCLMachine | 41% | 49 |
| #8 | Thiccolas Cage | 40% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^m1L | 19 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Cosmic | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Quique` | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | andrew ANJAROOO | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | atk | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^m1L | 920 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #2 | Pancakes | 825 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | Quique` | 721 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #4 | Cosmic | 559 | 0.05 | 16 min |
| #5 | andrew ANJAROOO | 447 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andrew ANJAROOO | +1.97 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | r s k | +1.80 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +1.65 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Quique` | +1.52 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | Cosmic | +0.09 | 80 | 59 |





