








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4576 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4199 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3434 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3415 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,331 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Rick Brown™ ⇆trades | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Der Lieferjunge | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | NeverRain | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | fleet | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Der Lieferjunge | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | NeverRain | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | fleet | 38% | 26 |
| #6 | EL Patron | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | EL Patron | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | fleet | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Dr. Rick Brown™ ⇆trades | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | 150 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | fleet | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | EL Patron | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dr. Rick Brown™ ⇆trades | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Der Lieferjunge | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | +1.42 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | fleet | +0.89 | 53 | 60 |
| #3 | KölscheJung | -0.00 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | NeverRain | -0.33 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | Der Lieferjunge | -0.94 | 71 | 50 |





