








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 293 | 14% |
| Smokes | 695 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 606 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 570 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,838 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phreeker | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Joif | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | samskiadamski | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MoDCore | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | huwgomez | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoDCore | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | DiNozzoHarris | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | samskiadamski | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | Joif | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Ramoslamo | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoDCore | 70 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Joif | 44 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | DiNozzoHarris | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phreeker | 26 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | samskiadamski | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joif | +6.53 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | ddarkeh | +3.79 | 81 | 46 |
| #3 | samskiadamski | +0.41 | 35 | 47 |
| #4 | TrailstaRTX | +0.03 | 50 | 57 |
| #5 | huwgomez | +0.01 | 39 | 53 |





