








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3114 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4427 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2589 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2575 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,024,334 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1087 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brocc | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | supervillain | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | The Lone Glue Eater | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Mollenkoffee | 46% | 119 |
| #5 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | supervillain | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | The Lone Glue Eater | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Mollenkoffee | 46% | 119 |
| #5 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | 40% | 40 |
| #6 | pca | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mollenkoffee | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | pca | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | The Lone Glue Eater | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mollenkoffee | 230 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | brocc | 130 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | pca | 113 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | supervillain | 105 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supervillain | +1.15 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | +0.55 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | · dash | +0.13 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | pca | +0.07 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | brocc | +0.03 | 73 | 68 |





