








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1088 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4003 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2767 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4249 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3477 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,398,827 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Lone Glue Eater | 50% | 149 |
| #2 | Gabino | 50% | 135 |
| #3 | brocc | 49% | 72 |
| #4 | williamL | 48% | 129 |
| #5 | · dash | 46% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | · dash | 46% | 119 |
| #6 | supervillain | 45% | 143 |
| #7 | pca | 44% | 73 |
| #8 | Wiggs | 42% | 52 |
| #9 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabino | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | · dash | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | The Lone Glue Eater | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | brocc | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supervillain | 433 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | brocc | 390 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | The Lone Glue Eater | 318 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Gabino | 312 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | · dash | 312 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supervillain | +1.21 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | Zantle1000TTV🦁 (LIVE) | +0.98 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | pca | +0.26 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | Gabino | -0.12 | 57 | 38 |
| #5 | brocc | -0.19 | 73 | 70 |





