








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3346 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5757 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5131 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4804 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $860,145 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | UncleNaphy | 50% | 36 |
| #10 | Freeze Cat | 48% | 246 |
| #11 | DjWizardshark | 48% | 27 |
| #12 | Gambit | 48% | 141 |
| #13 | couch | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze Cat | 25 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Flash | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Gambit | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Argus | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Lil Pecker | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze Cat | 473 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | Gambit | 437 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Flash | 266 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #4 | UncleNaphy | 133 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Argus | 98 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R.Spec | +2.39 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Captain Canada | +2.05 | 43 | 75 |
| #3 | Flash | +1.77 | 63 | 80 |
| #4 | Freeze Cat | -0.70 | 23 | 67 |
| #5 | Gambit | -0.73 | 44 | 63 |





