








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 765 matches | ||
| Wingman | 659 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 331 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10551 | 23% |
| Smokes | 11215 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 13941 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 9941 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,745,371 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 849 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | seiken | 48% | 230 |
| #7 | lackey | 47% | 368 |
| #8 | efx | 46% | 1386 |
| #9 | bri | 45% | 143 |
| #10 | JohnBlaze | 44% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | efx | 1594 | 0.07 | 39 min |
| #2 | theory^ | 1189 | 0.07 | 30 min |
| #3 | sK^ | 1121 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #4 | seiken | 896 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #5 | SjOHNSON^_^ | 665 | 0.16 | 19 min |





