








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6140 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6335 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4767 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4849 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,534 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seiken | 53% | 118 |
| #2 | lackey | 53% | 159 |
| #3 | theory^ | 52% | 322 |
| #4 | efx | 51% | 389 |
| #5 | SjOHNSON^_^ | 50% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jett_skis | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | JohnBlaze | 44% | 34 |
| #10 | bri | 44% | 78 |
| #11 | FlowSwizzle | 38% | 24 |
| #12 | Goose | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | efx | 19 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | JMuRda5 | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | theory^ | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | lackey | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | seiken | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | efx | 638 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | JMuRda5 | 570 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | theory^ | 496 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | seiken | 437 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | SjOHNSON^_^ | 378 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sK^ | +2.53 | 72 | 81 |
| #2 | [ASNL]-=iLLxbiLL=- | +1.60 | 39 | 58 |
| #3 | seiken | +1.14 | 61 | 72 |
| #4 | efx | +0.43 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | SjOHNSON^_^ | -0.06 | 48 | 77 |





