










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 799 matches | ||
| Premier | 733 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 175 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8411 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6728 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 12941 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 11056 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,673,904 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sK^ | 51% | 389 |
| #2 | seiken | 49% | 276 |
| #3 | SjOHNSON^_^ | 48% | 249 |
| #4 | theory^ | 48% | 882 |
| #5 | lackey | 47% | 361 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | theory^ | 48% | 882 |
| #5 | lackey | 47% | 361 |
| #6 | JohnBlaze | 46% | 109 |
| #7 | JMuRda5 | 46% | 1386 |
| #8 | bri | 45% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMuRda5 | 26 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | theory^ | 16 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | sK^ | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | lackey | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | seiken | 8 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMuRda5 | 1615 | 0.07 | 42 min |
| #2 | sK^ | 1306 | 0.16 | 43 min |
| #3 | theory^ | 1238 | 0.07 | 32 min |
| #4 | seiken | 1020 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #5 | SjOHNSON^_^ | 836 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sK^ | +2.33 | 72 | 81 |
| #2 | seiken | +1.15 | 62 | 75 |
| #3 | efx | +0.45 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | SjOHNSON^_^ | +0.35 | 49 | 81 |
| #5 | bri | -0.94 | 59 | 59 |





