








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1047 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6897 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6214 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5170 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4840 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,040,672 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1073 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seiken | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | JMuRda5 | 51% | 191 |
| #3 | sK^ | 50% | 101 |
| #4 | efx | 48% | 249 |
| #5 | theory^ | 48% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | theory^ | 48% | 235 |
| #6 | lackey | 45% | 88 |
| #7 | JohnBlaze | 43% | 54 |
| #8 | SCROBOT | 41% | 34 |
| #9 | bri | 33% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | efx | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | sK^ | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | JMuRda5 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | theory^ | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | seiken | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | efx | 412 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | theory^ | 346 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | sK^ | 334 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | JMuRda5 | 291 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | seiken | 252 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sK^ | +1.92 | 69 | 83 |
| #2 | seiken | +0.92 | 57 | 75 |
| #3 | efx | +0.67 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | SjOHNSON^_^ | +0.14 | 50 | 80 |
| #5 | SCROBOT | +0.08 | 77 | 65 |





