








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2319 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3923 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3665 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4030 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,950 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pizza | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | Simse | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | krØm | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | Pound Hound | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | +Zeeerix@ | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Joseph Fritzl | 51% | 94 |
| #9 | Semper | 50% | 101 |
| #10 | BlobChok | 50% | 28 |
| #11 | Bandit^5 ♿ | 49% | 174 |
| #12 | NizoN | 47% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simse | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Pizza | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Semper | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Fismann_ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | krØm | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bandit^5 ♿ | 815 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | Semper | 429 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | NizoN | 414 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Fismann_ | 248 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Donas dreng | 244 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pizza | +5.25 | 90 | 76 |
| #2 | Donas dreng | +4.45 | 69 | 74 |
| #3 | Simse | +3.18 | 73 | 74 |
| #4 | +Zeeerix@ | +2.72 | 64 | 80 |
| #5 | Semper | +1.20 | 61 | 77 |





