








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 675 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Esplay | 94 matches | 2,187 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1736 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2011 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1998 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1815 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,761 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceman tookz | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | 73% | 26 |
| #3 | HUGO BAWS | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Fjaspeis | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | Sajalol | 60% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Island-MAn | 52% | 23 |
| #11 | s | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | sensei bjarne | 49% | 68 |
| #13 | King P3kk | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | leninur | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sensei bjarne | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | HUGO BAWS | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Sajalol | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | qqqqq | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | LS | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sajalol | 405 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | qqqqq | 293 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | LS | 239 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | aha... | 215 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | Fjaspeis | 200 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG-E-WÊZEL ( °□°) ︵ | +4.10 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | HUGO BAWS | +2.74 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | iceman tookz | +1.58 | 89 | 72 |
| #4 | aha... | +1.58 | 89 | 72 |
| #5 | thor | +1.10 | 85 | 67 |





