








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4276 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2953 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2753 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,658 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 787 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MILLAMAZING | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | arctos | 55% | 71 |
| #3 | Zhadius | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Torq ツ | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 52% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zhadius | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Torq ツ | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 52% | 237 |
| #6 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 50% | 117 |
| #7 | Resistance | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | MILLAMAZING | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | arctos | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Torq ツ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 583 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 312 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | arctos | 127 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zhadius | 125 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Torq ツ | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arctos | +1.96 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | +1.36 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | c00chie | +1.31 | 66 | 39 |
| #4 | Zhadius | +0.77 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | MILLAMAZING | +0.76 | 61 | 62 |





