










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2224 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2094 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1645 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,898 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maren | 5 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Dunken | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Munken | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | ☕Brothaz2 | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Kakan ツ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🍺Brothaz2.0 | 126 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | ☕Brothaz2 | 97 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kakan ツ | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dunken | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr. Dart Vader ( MKBI ) | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |





