








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7506 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4868 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3129 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2786 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,234 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konkord ᓚᘏᗢ | 383 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Capt. JE$U$ [ #N1NjA ] | 236 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Balla | 232 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ant1 | 219 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | __ | 203 | 0.16 | 5 min |





