








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 871 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12149 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3823 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 10023 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7360 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,169,443 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 914 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osidafunk | 55% | 230 |
| #2 | JOOHEONㅗ(ㅎㅡㅎ)ㅗ | 54% | 197 |
| #3 | emoney[HH] | 53% | 319 |
| #4 | imposta | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | ViệTAwpEr | 52% | 111 |





