










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Esplay | 69 matches | 1,518 | |
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2263 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3622 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2130 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1597 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $660,490 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | .Ohlen | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | acidbanana | 50% | 52 |
| #10 | Kock i rock | 48% | 27 |
| #11 | -=|Hoppsan|=- | 45% | 74 |
| #12 | Hex | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -=|Hoppsan|=- | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Dudde | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | acidbanana | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Kock i rock | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | .Ohlen | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dudde | 111 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | acidbanana | 94 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hex | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ Soleif | 56 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | CmA | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |





