








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1059 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5849 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7936 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4306 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4802 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,376,389 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liru | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | Wallu | 58% | 76 |
| #3 | ylamoukkuenjoyer | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | laso | 49% | 159 |
| #5 | Kasettiäijä | 47% | 299 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Antz | 46% | 602 |
| #7 | alamoukkuabuser | 45% | 87 |
| #8 | masalskis | 44% | 185 |
| #9 | jolky | 44% | 110 |
| #10 | cock mösjöö | 35% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antz | 26 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Kasettiäijä | 24 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | laso | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | alamoukkuabuser | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | jolky | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kasettiäijä | 1374 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #2 | laso | 610 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | alamoukkuabuser | 457 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #4 | masalskis | 442 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Antz | 426 | 0.03 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ylamoukkuenjoyer | +4.65 | 70 | 77 |
| #2 | Wallu | +3.99 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | Liru | +3.53 | 72 | 80 |
| #4 | alamoukkuabuser | +2.17 | 72 | 72 |
| #5 | cock mösjöö | +1.22 | 64 | 79 |





