








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,809 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 846 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1093 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1300 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1166 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,502 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #23 | ojen | 31% | 16 |
| #24 | voldy | 30% | 10 |
| #25 | Knekkern | 22% | 9 |
| #26 | xy | 17% | 6 |
| #27 | Albino | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rednas | 116 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | HIPHOPPER | 103 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | torri | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Knekkern | 56 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bergvald | 54 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeakyJ>:c | +4.27 | 76 | 81 |
| #2 | Cranked out of his fucking tree | +4.15 | 65 | 77 |
| #3 | mr.onekill | +3.23 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | HIPHOPPER | +2.85 | 90 | 62 |
| #5 | Rednas | +2.80 | 81 | 74 |





