








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,065 | |
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6349 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5394 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4230 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4918 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,123,163 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torri | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ☢JB | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | The StewmakeR | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | HKN | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | dennis.@' | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢JB | 1065 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #2 | Karlsenn | 867 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | arakondia | 249 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | The StewmakeR | 241 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | GalbaZeek🤏 | 215 | 0.14 | 5 min |





