










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 742 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 171 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5488 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6368 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5027 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6602 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,296,174 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loggith | 24 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | wildwolf | 12 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | HIT THE MARK | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | π
π
΄π
Άπ
Ύ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Etmar | 7 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wildwolf | 530 | 0.04 | 13 min |
| #2 | Guy on a Buffalo | 380 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Phil MaCooter | 351 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | HIT THE MARK | 223 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | Loggith | 221 | 0.03 | 6 min |





