








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2655 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2370 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2194 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2741 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,579 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | TirioNN | 52% | 73 |
| #15 | caderno | 51% | 134 |
| #16 | Cuca Beludo | 50% | 145 |
| #17 | El Shady Gato | 50% | 46 |
| #18 | WipeClownZ | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caderno | 827 | 0.29 | 19 min |
| #2 | Cuca Beludo | 688 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | TirioNN | 297 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | El Shady Gato | 187 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Forky | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |





